Monday, 26 June 2017

I Work in Retail #1


A man came up to me holding a jacket up. "Excuse me," he said, "I just wanted to ask your opinion." 
"Ok!" I said, "What's wrong?"
"So erm, I'm getting this for my partner. She's around a size 10-12, so what do you think?"
"Well," I said, "with a jacket, it's always a good idea to go bigger, because she'll obviously be wearing clothes underneath"
A confused look spreads onto his face, and he says, "what do you mean, a jacket?!"

"Erm, well, er, that's a jacket"

"Oh, Ok. Thanks." And with that, he walks away.

Monday, 19 June 2017

Baking Goddess - kind of - actually not really

So the thing is.. I'm actually quite good at cooking. Give me some tomatoes and a ladle and I'm all good. Baking on the other hand has never been my strong point. But I just wanna be like Mary Berry. I wanna be a baking whizz and everyone to go, "Oh yeah, Lavinia's amazing at baking". 

So when I saw this video on youtube, I thought, "right. This is my time to make something amazing and everyone will be so impressed. It looks easy enough." 

It looks easy enough. Famous last words. 

This is what happened...


No electric whisk. That's ok, I'll just do it by hand. I didn't realise how long it would take and how dead my arm would be after. 



I then got some in my hair. No idea how seeing as I'm not using an electric whisk. This was doomed from the start, wasn't it?!


Looks a bit lumpy. I'm sure it'll be fine. Maybe it's cos I thought I had almond flour, but I didn't. I had ground almonds. So I just stuck that in instead.


Why does my red part look so brown?! Maybe it's cos of the ground almonds. Maybe it's cos the food colouring was a weird colour.


This bit was cool.. I felt like Mary herself.


But it looks a bit weird... A little bit like poop.



It seems all my hard work has failed.... Why are the cookies one colour?! Where did the brown/red parts go?!?!


I stuck some strawberry jam in the middle and the creamcheese on the outside.. Except I ran out of icing sugar so I had to use granulated.. So the creamcheese section was a bit, erm, crunchy. Oops.


I then whacked the other half on top. Look how picturesque! Or... maybe just a good angle?



And here they are!! Nothing like what the buzzfeed video said they would, but they're somewhat edible.

Here's Jonno testing them...



Oh. Oh dear. It seems that it was the crunchy cream cheese that put him off. 
I'll stick to cooking then!