Thursday, 10 August 2017

Finding the good


Last week I had a week of work as it was my birthday. I hung out with friends, ate a lot of good food and laughed a lot. So this is week, as I'm back in the job I hate I'm finding the days all the more difficult. To tackle this, change my way of thinking and try to live my best life, I'm actively trying to find little things in life to be thankful for. I'm trying to find the good in the bad. 

Here we go. 

Listening to Tori Kelly. I just forgot how much of a babe she is. I've been listening to her whilst washing up, and singing along at the top of my lungs. Her music is not only uplifting but it has such a great message. The song Confetti is the best. 

I'm also managing to keep on top of washing up 😱 this rarely happens, but somehow I'm dominating it at the moment and I'm loving it.

Just did our weekly shop and I'm LOVING having a fully stocked fridge.

We've also finally got bookshelves!!!!! You might \remember me talking about how all our DVD's were in a pile on the floor in this post. Well, we got bookshelves and it's so nice to have a place to stick stuff! The flat looks so much bigger and cleaner now they're not stored in carrier bags in the corner. And whilst I mention it, we now have hooks so lots of photos are hanging up, annnnnnd I have a FULL LENGTH MIRROR. Glory be. 


So, I might hate where I spend 8 hours of my day five days a week, but I've got a lot to be grateful for that has happened just this week. So much to be grateful for. Even that I have a job that means I can buy things like bookshelves and albums and food to stock my fridge with. 

xx

Monday, 7 August 2017

I was a bridesmaid!



I included the picture of me and Rosie walking down the aisle, because in my memory I was a blubbering mess. But actually this picture tells me I didn't look as much of a mess as I was feeling!!

So. In January I was a bridesmaid for my roommate at uni. It was a fun day and I cried lots.

Highlights include:
  • Seeing her in her dress and crying because "she looks like a bride"
  • Drinking a little too much and not taking the cΓ¨ilidh dancing seriously at all. Like I think we annoyed some people we were being so stupid πŸ˜‚
  • Laughing so much I cried
  • Catching up with people I hadn't seen in a while
  • Eating cheese and crackers
Non-highlights incude:
  • Paying £11 for a double vodka and coke. £11!!!! Literally robbed. 

Saturday, 5 August 2017

23!


So. As of two days ago I am 23!! I feel like 23 means I'm more of an adult than when I was 22 because it's closer to 25. Is that weird? I feel like it's weird, but also I feel like it makes a lot of sense in my head haha!

So for a bullet point quick rundown of the actual day:

  • Jon brought me a coffee in bed, and made me a fried egg bagel for breakfast. He knows my hearts desires ;)
  • We then took part in the kids holiday club at church from 10-12 as we have been helping out at holiday club this week. 
  • After kids club, Jon had to finish some work, so I came home and had some time to myself.
  • We had pancakes for lunch. WIN.
  • We hung out with our friends Joe and Jess, and they had gotten me a birthday cake with candles that I could blow out. I haven't had a cake with candles I could blow out candles for like 4 years. 
  • I got given a tiara that I had to wear all day. OKAY!
  • We went to the pub for our weekly pub quiz, and ate some food. I had a cheese tart and sweet potato fries. Heavenly.
  • We went back to Joe and Jess' where they had made me a cheeseboard with crackers and red wine. They know me so well!! 
  • And so I finished off my day eating waaaaay too many cheese and biscuits, and watching the new Beauty and the Beast movie, which I LOVED. 

And that was it. Simple, but I spent time with friends and I laughed. What more could a girl want?!

And so here are the resolutions I want to make for the next year of my life:

  1. I know this was the resolution on my 'I turned 22' post, but reading more really is something I want to try to do!!
  2. Learn to drive. So. When I turn 24, I would love to be able to drive! 
  3. Do three things daily - 30 mins of piano practice, some sort of stretching and spend some time with Jesus reading the bible. I've always wanted to do these three things daily, but this year I would like to be proactive about it, and not put it off!! 
And that's it!!

Here's to the best year of my life so far!! 

xx

Monday, 17 July 2017

Why I Started Blogging

I originally started this blog because I wanted it to be a diary. Just a fun little diary where I could remember the little things in my life. That's what I said, and that's what I told myself it was for.

But it goes a little deeper than that.

Last year, in her early nineties, my Nan passed away. She had suffered with vascular dementia for the last ten years of her life but it had only been diagnosed for the last 4 years. She was a funny lady, who loved life and would constantly sing. She never took anything seriously and she would sometimes get into fits of laughter and no one could understand what she was saying - or so I hear.

The thing is that all I can remember of her was when she was ill. All I can remember of her was when she would ask me the same question over and over again. All I can cling on to is when sometimes the dementia would subside for 5 minutes and she would say something profound. Or she would make a joke like she used to.

But that would only last or 5 minutes, and then her illness would take over again.

But that was her. That was how I knew her.

When she died last year, I didn't mourn her. It sounds weird, but I didn't mourn the loss of her. I know she was confused all the time and trapped in her illness, and so in a way, I'm happy she's no longer suffering.

But I did mourn that I never knew her really. Not the way she really was.

The day after she passed away, my Granddad got out a letter that she had written to him when they were just dating. It just talked of how she missed the bus, and how she was planning on going to the post office the next day, but I cried and cried and cried knowing that she wrote this letter because it was a piece of normality. It was her but before I had ever known her.

And to me, it was so special.

And in short, that is why I wanted to write this blog. Maybe I'll have kids one day, and maybe they'll have kids. And maybe they can read up on bits of my life and it can be special to them.

And that is why I love this little blog which talks about silly conversations I've had, and the films I'm loving to watch at the moment (singin' in the rain is one of them. I LOVE the dances).

Monday, 10 July 2017

I Work in Retail #2


I was serving a lady at the till, and she pops her card into the chip and pin machine. She then shuffles from foot to foot sighing, staring at the machine.

She then looks at me and says, "Uh, it's just saying please wait."

I look at her and, without wanting to be rude, awkwardly respond, "Um.. so.. probably.. just erm, wait?"

Monday, 3 July 2017

Just Starting Out.


I have always been impatient. I have this mentality like I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT ALL NOW. The wallpaper on my phone says 'one step at a time', because I really need to always remind myself that allll it's about the journey and that pretty much everything worth doing it better when it's done one step at a time.

This includes my and Jon's living situation. 

I always said that I loved the stories of people who said, "when we first got married we only had a mattress on the floor and a fridge" or whatever. I love hearing of how people started and how they worked themselves up bit by bit. It sounds silly but I just never realised that they obviously had to live in that moment, with the bare minimum. 

So at this point in our loves, Jon and I are doing just that. Our DVD collection is on the floor. Our TV is balancing on a tiny chest of drawers. We have no full length mirror (that bit is killinggggg me). Jon is getting sick of the amount of times I keep saying, "We really need a..." 

BUT this is us starting out. I know we've been married for 8 months, but we lived for the first 6 months in a house share (I HATED it, the less said about that the better). So this is really the beginning for us. 

I never want to forget this bit. I never want to forget where we started. I WANT to build it up. I WANT to get things slowly. So, I took some pictures and I wanted this to be our story. I wanted this to be our, "when we started out we lived in boxes for the first year" etc. 

This is life and life is all about 'one step at a time'.


Our DVD collection layed out on the floor. You can also see the PS4 balancing on the DVD's. This makes it difficult when we want to watch a film that's under there!


We still have lots of boxes out because we live in a 1 bed flat and so storage space is minimal. We just need some pretty storage boxes haha! The bottom box is board games, The box above is photo frames we need to stick up, but we have to get adhesive hooks first, and the top box is electricals and just has lots of wires, chargers and headphones in it!!


This is our current photo layout, because we still need the hooks to pop the photos on the wall!


This is a double duvet that is for when we have people stay over. It's placed on some bags and boxes full of books, and sits in between our fridge/freezer and our sofa!


The fact that we don't have guitar stands drives me crazy!! Jon also bought the really lovely canvas in the left corner a few weeks ago, but because we don't have any adhesive hooks we can't stick it on the wall, so it's hidden by our dining table (which is what I'm sat at whilst writing this!).


This is our closet situation! Look at all the shoes haha! The small box on the right consists of my underwear and the larger pink one is overflowing with pyjamas and trousers/leggings/jogging bottoms. The top section has Christmas decorations, a suitcase, and just random bits of Jon's clothing. I have no idea but I'm sure there's method to his madness!

"I don't care if you don't believe it, that's the kind of house I live in and I hope I never leave it" - Dr Seuss.

Monday, 26 June 2017

I Work in Retail #1


A man came up to me holding a jacket up. "Excuse me," he said, "I just wanted to ask your opinion." 
"Ok!" I said, "What's wrong?"
"So erm, I'm getting this for my partner. She's around a size 10-12, so what do you think?"
"Well," I said, "with a jacket, it's always a good idea to go bigger, because she'll obviously be wearing clothes underneath"
A confused look spreads onto his face, and he says, "what do you mean, a jacket?!"

"Erm, well, er, that's a jacket"

"Oh, Ok. Thanks." And with that, he walks away.

Monday, 19 June 2017

Baking Goddess - kind of - actually not really

So the thing is.. I'm actually quite good at cooking. Give me some tomatoes and a ladle and I'm all good. Baking on the other hand has never been my strong point. But I just wanna be like Mary Berry. I wanna be a baking whizz and everyone to go, "Oh yeah, Lavinia's amazing at baking". 

So when I saw this video on youtube, I thought, "right. This is my time to make something amazing and everyone will be so impressed. It looks easy enough." 

It looks easy enough. Famous last words. 

This is what happened...


No electric whisk. That's ok, I'll just do it by hand. I didn't realise how long it would take and how dead my arm would be after. 



I then got some in my hair. No idea how seeing as I'm not using an electric whisk. This was doomed from the start, wasn't it?!


Looks a bit lumpy. I'm sure it'll be fine. Maybe it's cos I thought I had almond flour, but I didn't. I had ground almonds. So I just stuck that in instead.


Why does my red part look so brown?! Maybe it's cos of the ground almonds. Maybe it's cos the food colouring was a weird colour.


This bit was cool.. I felt like Mary herself.


But it looks a bit weird... A little bit like poop.



It seems all my hard work has failed.... Why are the cookies one colour?! Where did the brown/red parts go?!?!


I stuck some strawberry jam in the middle and the creamcheese on the outside.. Except I ran out of icing sugar so I had to use granulated.. So the creamcheese section was a bit, erm, crunchy. Oops.


I then whacked the other half on top. Look how picturesque! Or... maybe just a good angle?



And here they are!! Nothing like what the buzzfeed video said they would, but they're somewhat edible.

Here's Jonno testing them...



Oh. Oh dear. It seems that it was the crunchy cream cheese that put him off. 
I'll stick to cooking then!

Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Think it's too late?!



You feel unmotivated because you think it's too late to do something?! You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to if you work hard enough. Watch this.

Sunday, 7 May 2017

Pride comes before a fall...




You know that saying "pride comes before a fall"? This morning I thought I was all #wifegoals, because I had three hobs on the go - one making my porridge, and the other two making vegetable stirfry and quinoa. Yep, you got that, QUINOA for my lunch for the next week. So middle class. So on top of things.

I was being all proud and thinking all how great I was at this cooking malarkey. Next thing I knew I could smell something not very appetising. What was that smell?! Where was it coming from?! 

You got it.. I'd burnt the bottom of my porridge. 

Not as on top of things as I'd have hoped! πŸ˜‚ 

Thursday, 4 May 2017

NOTE TO SELF



Note to self: remember that whilst you might think the film "in her shoes" may be a fun light hearted chick flick, but actually it will have you blubbering by yourself on your own, while you're supposed to be packing the house up to move. 

Not a good move πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Œ

Saturday, 25 March 2017

We Live in Such a Weird World!


This morning as I was getting ready to go out, I watched last night's Red Nose Day (literally only to watch red nose day actually - the charity remake of love actually).

One of the stories they showed was of a mother who had to leave her 3 children under 10 at home all day so she could search a landfill site all day, in the boiling sun, and at the end of the day only have earnt as little as 25p.

And now, only hours later, I'm sitting on a train behind a girl who literally took 20 minutes to pick out and edit an instagram photo.

Like I don't wanna judge or belittle the girl; she's just a product of the society she's grown up in. But I just thought it was SO scary to me how much it's such a horrific contrast in lives and priorities.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Trusting IN the moment.

So many times there's been a bad situation in my life, and I've cried about it. I've worried about it. I've tried to sort it by myself.

And then I've found that It's only when I come out of the situation that I realise God was so present and he was there the whole time moving all the pieces at the right time to make an incredible story. And then, when I realise, I'm annoyed at myself that I didn't trust God when I was right there in the moment.

So that's what I'm trying to do now.

After Jon and I finished university in June, we felt that God was telling us to stay in the city we were in. It felt right, so we did. But then stuff started going wrong;  and in short the past 12 months have had some of the worst moment of my life, bringing out breakdowns and panic attacks that I've never experienced before. I was so confused I didn't know why this was happening. Weren't we obedient?! Weren't we faithful?!

A lot of the time we just felt stuck. Especially as we were both spending our days in jobs that were not ones we wanted to be in. We felt hopeless.

This was until last week when Jon was offered the job of his dreams in a city about an hour and a half away. Things were looking up, and we've started to get excited about it - especially as they've asked him to start as soon as possible!

But. We're not quite there yet.. We're still waiting to find a flat. We're still waiting for me to get a job there. There's still a lot we need to get done and do. But this time we're going to trust IN the moment, like we should have all this time.

I'll keep you updated!!

Monday, 27 February 2017

Just Wishin'

At the moment Jon and I are saving up to move to another city, and all the fun stuff that goes with that, so obviously all our spare money is going straiiiiiiight into our savings account! So that just leaves me to go on websites window shopping all into all sorts of different stuff that I'm gunna have to wait for. Such a hard life eh?!

Here they are:
  1.  A few weeks ago I got a fitbit, and whilst I love it, it's not the daintiest. I looked different straps on amazon and found THIS beeeeeeautiful rose-gold one.
  2. My bag at the moment is a teeeeny tiny sparkly back pack, which is useful for most days, except on a day when I'm at work because it's so small my lunch doesn't fit in it! This bag would be great because not only is it simple, but it's mahusive! Great for big lunches! 
  3. This one, quite simply, was on our Jon and I's wedding list for our bedside tables, and as a result we were only bought one! Haha! We just need the other one to match!
  4. I have a big pink fluffy dressing gown that I love. But I saw this one, which is made out of towel material. Just think, getting out if the shower and wrapping up in a dressing gown shaped towel?!?! YES PLEASE!
  5. I saw this on a friend's fridge. It's magnetic and a whiteboard and you can write on it the meals you've planned to have in the week, and your shopping list and I think it's great!
  6. At the moment I epilate all my unwanted hair, which is ok but is sooo not good for ingrown hairs! They're all over my legs! Could an IPL hair remover thing-ma-bob be the answer?! I don't know because it's expensive. But I'd LOVE to try it one day! 
  7. I know this is boring, but a stainless steel dish drying rack seems ideal. We have a purple plastic one at the moment and it gets grubby so quickly! Ahh adult life! 
  8. I have ALWAYS wanted a big professional camera. And now I'm making youtube videos regularly, I have double reasons for wanting a good quality camera. 
  9. A big chested lady can never have too many decent bras, and all mine are so old they're missshapen (attractive!). 2 basic t-shirt bras would be great. 
And that's it. Maybe once we've moved and saved I can go on a massive shopping spree and get all these. Or maybe I'll just keep wishin.

Monday, 13 February 2017

Revelations.


Hello!

I have a cold, a spot on the bridge of my nose, I'm watching FRIENDS and I'm waiting for my nails to dry.

I had a revelation yesterday.

I read a quote from someone famous that said "I'm not a morning person. But I'm not really much of a night person either." And I realised that that's me. I get cranky when I stay up late, but I'm also cranky in the morning. And that's ok. It's also ok to not know whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. I don't know either. Sometimes I love being around people, and sometimes I love being alone. And that's ok.

People are so diverse; not just as individual people to one another, but also as individual people. One day I could feel one way, and the next day I would feel completely different. And that's ok.

I'm not a morning person, and I'm not a night owl. I'm not an extrovert or an introvert.

Boom.

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

London for Work




7:30: So. I'm sitting on a train.  It's half 7 and I've been up since 6 even though I had rehearsal till midnight last night. I'm on my way to London to go to somewhere for work, although I have no idea what it is. All I have is a postcode. I've never been to London by myself before, and the last time I came was two years ago. This could be interesting. Feeling a little tired and anxious to say the least... 
 
11:04: I got to the place where I needed to be 40 minutes early, signed in and told the receptionist that I knew I was ridiculously early so I didn't mind waiting. I waited for 20 minutes until the receptionist came and found me and said "hey, I'm really sorry but the event's been cancelled. We sent your manager an email on Monday to let everyone know" 

So now I'm in London with nothing to do. It feels a waste to go straight home but I don't know what I want to do. 

11:07: So I was on the tube ready to go home, and the lady on the the tube just said, "Change here for the museum of London" Sure, why not! I hope it's free!

11:09: Just got beeped at and almost killed by a motorbike cos I didn't look before I crossed the road. I forgot the crayzee roads of London.

11:04: Yes!! It's free!

11:20: Stuck in the museum of London. Literally no idea how to get out. There're so many primary school children. 

11:29: There were so many children and so much information it was hard to concentrate, so I'm off to the national gallery. 

11:37: My phone crashed. Twice.

12:07: Entered the national gallery.

13:03: I've just left, inspired by creativity and now I'm going home.

13:11: I tripped. Awkward.

13:32: Tripped again. This time up the stairs in the underground, I almost landed on two ladies and one gasped. Very awkward. 

13:55: Tripped up the escalator in Paddington station. This is getting ridiculous now.

14:10: Got a coffee before boarding the train back home. 

14:16: Walked into a closing door on the train, making quite a loud bang noise. I just carried one as if nothing had happened...

16:44: Got off the train, and now going home. 


That was a wierd day, but I learnt that I'm a badass who can do London and the tubes, even if I trip up a lot. 

xx