Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Mama Maria.


Today is my beautiful Nanna's funeral. I know today will be SO hard, but I am glad she is in a better place. 

Nan had such a beautiful character. She was always laughing and she treid her harest to always make others laugh. She enjoyed singing (even though she wasn't the best at it!! She never let that stop her!). She was married to my Granddad for 53 years, and loved him so deeply. She never cared about what others may have thought about her and her family was her absolute world. 

She was incredible at gardening and could grow absolutely anything. She was a wonderfully creative seamstress and would always alter clothing to how she felt she wanted it. She would always give me presents; not the kind that you buy however, the kind that she would have taken time to create by hand, or collect. The presents that you know have taken so much love and time to create. 

She was such a happy lady, and I am so honoured to have been her granddaughter. 

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Jottings of Love #2




Ok, ok, I know it's Tuesday and I said that I would try to do these every Sunday, but I'm trying. Ok?

Now we've got that out the way...

This weeks things I loved.


  • Going back home to go wedding dress shopping with my Mum and sis-in-law
  • It was so precious because both Mum and I were trying on dresses for Mum's wedding next year, and mine this year
  • Seeing Mum in a BEAUTIFUL dress
  • Picking a dress I love. It's nothing like I thought I would like, but it's the dress of my dreams. Honestly.
  • I should have probably written a different post on this day haha, I've got so much I loved about it.
  • the beautifully hot weather we've had this week. I felt like I was in Greece.
  • O's birthday. 14! We went to an all you can eat buffet and it was great. Quote of that day was Isaac's; "Leelaaaaaaaahhhhh! You told me it was salad! IT'S GARLIC STICKS!!" He hated them, it was hilarious.
  • Getting a smoothie from Pret for the train ride home. So refreshing in this heat. 
  • Making origami flowers for my bouquet. They're starting to look beauttttiful! 
  • Eating granola, fruit and yogurt for breakfast in the morning. Makes me feel like it's alll summerrryyy

That's it!! See you on Sunday... Possibly.

xx

Sunday, 17 July 2016

Jottings of Love #1




I know I've been pretty laid back on this thing for the past year or so. It's really quite annoying because I SO want to be more active and write more, but now I've gotten out if the habit of coming over here to write my thoughts and feelings and so it makes it harder.

This is why I'm going to try (try, being the optimum word) to do a 'jottings of love' every week. I'm going to try to make a note of what I've loved this week. And I'm going to stick to it, damn it!!!

So this week. Here goes.

  • Going for my wedding menu tasting session with Jonno. Good food, good company. What more could you ask for?! Side note: the chocolate tarte was in.cred.i.ble. Seriously. 
  • Having a pink breakfast on Tuesday. I don't think you can EVER go wrong with a cuppa and a pink breakfast. Never.
  • Going home to surprise Mum on her 53rd birthday because I knew she wouldn't have wanted to do much because of Nan going to be with Jesus last week. She was delighted when Jon and I showed up in her kitchen, and when we left she said we 'made her birthday'. Mission accomplished. Also, Jon is incredible for driving me all that way because he knew it would make me happy. What a guy. 
  • Seeing the hill on the drive up and being overwhelmed with how pretty it is. Like I see it all the time, but at that moment, I was thankful that I live in SUCH a pretty place. 
  • Going for our first house viewing with Jon and Rosie! It didn't work out, but I feel all grown up and excited looking at houses I might live in! 
  • Making vegan spring rolls. Rosie said that it was one of my "cooking triumphs" and I am very pleased with that. Recipe here.
  • Doing so much wedding planning yesterday morning! Got soooo much done, and I'm feeling a lot less overwhelmed! 
  • Going to watch a play about missionary Elisabeth Elliot. It was emotional, but beautifully written.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

The Past Week

WARNING: This may be a very depressing post. It may go on for ages. It might also be very uplifting and short. I don't know, you'll just have to find out.

So.. My beautiful Nanna died yesterday. 

She had a stroke on Wednesday 29th June, which pretty much killed what was left of her brain (she already had had vascular dementia which is caused by a series of little strokes), and I went to visit her and my Granddad on Friday the 1st July. I stayed at the Nursing Home she was in for 5 days, and was by her side, along with my Mum and Granddad when she went to be with Jesus peacefully at 6:45 am on Wednesday 6th July.

There are a few things I always want to remember about this past week. It has been the hardest week of my life, but there were some funny moments too. It was the kind of send off my Nan would have loved. 


  • The way my Granddad kept trying to wake her up just broke my heart.
  • When one of the nurses came in to turn her over and said to her "I miss your singing Maria"
  • How we were told SO many times that she only had a few hours to live, and she kept going. And strongly at that. Classic Nanna.
  • How there was a beautiful dog named Crispin who was (I'm pretty sure) a red Japanese chin. Every time you went to stroke him, he'd lay on his back so you could stroke his front. He was such a patient, calm little thing.
  • When the funeral directors came (BEFORE the doctor had come to pronounce her dead, may I add), and they looked absolutely ridiculous. One was wearing flipping sunglasses, for goodness sake.
  • Grandad stroking her hair and holding her hand. He really loved her. 
  • Reading through Nan's notes that the nursing home staff had taken, of the points where it said she sang very loudly, or when it said that she liked to be facing Granddad, and when they tried to turn her she would shout at them.
  • The fact that Mum and I didn't shower for literally a week because we didn't want to leave the room in case Nan went. 
  • We drank SO MUCH TEA. Like I literally went for a wee like 15 times in a day. NOT even exaggerating.
  • After she died, Mum and I went shopping and I picked out the brightest top I could find. Nan would have loved it. 
  • Laughing hysterically at the thought of Nan flying past my Auntie's window after her passing
  • Every time the nurses came to give Nan mouth care (to keep the mouth wet because she wasn't having any liquids), she would bite down on the glycerin swab sticks
  • A really lovely nurse called Josie, who was Filipino and she kept coming in, telling us stories of Nan, and asking if we wanted any food. 
  • A lovely nurse called Desi, who almost made my Granddad cry when she gave him a hug after Nan had gone. 
  • All the nurses at the home really. They were so lovely, they loved my Nanna and I know she was SO well looked after in the last few years of her life.
  • Grandad playing Fanny Crosby hymns, Johnny Cash and Darlene Zschech SUPER loudly because his hearing isn't the best.
  • Mum and I taking it in shifts to watch over Nan at night so Granddad wouldn't be worried and could sleep through the night. 
  • When I was watching over Nan at 4am and I was SO tired from literally having about 12 hours sleep over the four days combined, and I prayed out to God, and said "God I can't do this anymore!" and he said "this too shall pass" and I said, "but when?!" and he said "Wednesday". She died Wednesday morning at 6:30.
  • My favourite moment, however, was when I felt like God was telling me to sing after we had thought that she was going to die and I didn't want to. He kept telling me again and again, and I sang one of Nan's favourites, and Mum and Grandad joined in, and we were crying and singing all around Nan. She would have loved it.